Eun Ho: "I must be a really dumb person. My parents and husband left me too early in my life, but I still doesn't get tired of people. I still like keeping in touch with people. I believe in people's goodness so easily, wanting to be good to them, but they don't think like I do. I thought he was a trustworthy person, but it doesn't turn out this way. Having met such a person is dreadful. Grandpa, I don't know what to."

Grandpa: "Right. Do you not want to live anymore? Do you want to run away?"

Eun Ho: (nodded with tears in her eyes) "I don't want to do anything anymore. I may as well let them take everything away from me."

Grandpa: "If you live like that, you'll be forced into a corner all your life. Wanting only to see good things, wanting only to have good deeds... Get rid of this type of thoughts! When you see an evil person, don't ever turn your face away. Stare at him. Evaluate what has gone wrong. Face him, until the very end."

Eun Ho: "What if I feel disgusted?"

Grandpa: "Like when your child has to bear with regular jabs (because of blood cancer)... Just close your eyes and persevere. A tiny kid will bear such pain in order to live, why can't you? Life is not simple as you think."

"Partner", Episode 8, Korean TV drama featuring Lee Dong Wook and Kim Hyun Joo.

Thank you

Wanna say thank you to my friends who listened to my worries and prayed for me when I was lost and in trouble... with a song. Don't laugh, okay?

"The Moment- 這一刻"   孫燕姿

Second take (15 July 2009)

Key: E major

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Dmaj2B

這一刻回頭看見自己　這一路的風景百感交集的我

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Dmaj2B

下一刻又將飛向哪裡　漸漸疲憊的羽翼為你披上了勇氣

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Dmaj2B

放心離開我　我會記得這一刻　那些還飛翔著不可思議的夢

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Am7Bm7Dmaj2

雨後的天空　會有絢爛的彩虹　像最初相信著我們總會找到自由

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Dmaj2B

這一刻時間變成行李　越過生命悲喜陪伴著我前進

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Dmaj2B

因為你讓我看清自己　面對未知的恐懼腳步更加堅定

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Dmaj2B

放心離開我　我會記得這一刻　那些還飛翔著不可思議的夢

Amaj2G#m7F#m7Am7Bm7Dmaj2

雨後的天空　會有絢爛的彩虹　像最初相信著我會找到自由 自由

A little segment of melody I composed with my guitar. A low quality demo though... bad guitar playing with background noise. Still it's my first composition that feels right

Part 3

It was noon the next day when she woke up. Lucky that it was a day off for her, so she could have some space to herself and take things slowly. She got out of bed and saw her cat around the corner. He seemed not so eager to see her these days, didn't he? He just glanced at her and then turned his back at her. She had been so preoccupied with her own things recently that she had not paid much attention to him at all. Today, she followed him until he curled up in his usual resting place and began to stroke his head and back. Only then she realized that he had gotten slimmer and noticed signs of fragility as he aged. He looked at her in wide eyes, receiving her without any resentment and it warmed her to feel such unconditional love. She could not help but to shake off her thought that one day, she would have to lose him. Upon that thought, she left him as he curled into a ball and closed his eyes.

It still brought her to tears whenever the radio had a melancholic song on, but it was not pain anymore. She did not know how to describe it...... the music just struck a chord with what she was feeling. She regained composure soon enough and started to clean up her room. With such chaos, she just could not get any work done. And so she thought, things were normal again and she was ready to move on. She had lived all her life up till now with passion in her work, hope to put the haunting shadow of her unhappy family behind, and courage to face the various challenges and setbacks that life holds. With or without him, she would still stay true to herself.

She flipped over a story book, in preparation for her lessons with some young kids. The illustration of Snow White and the prince caught her eyes. She had never believed in 'happily ever after'. Perhaps, she had secretly hoped that there would be a prince to save her from her troubles. She put up a bitter smile and closed the book. Reaching for a blank sheet of paper, she started to draft the outline of an adapted version of the fairy tale. Okay, this time, she would make Snow White the heroine who saved the prince. The kids were creative and enthusiastic enough to sort out the details, so it would be fun. She could not help smiling wryly at this idea. She was not foolish and unlovable afterall.

Part Two

4am. She stared into darkness and felt a sudden rush of warmth on her face. Soon her pillow was wet and breathing hurt. She clutched her blanket to her chest, as if to feel the pain inside. This time, she wanted to know what was hurting her so much, so she just closed her eyes tight and allowed herself to merge with the darkness within her room. It was when she was finally able to breathe that she realized how unfair it was for her to feel like this alone. Foolish enough to fall one-sided and disillusioned enough to hope that he felt the same. She climbed out of her bed, unable to bear with her own delusion, while a part of her still wanted to believe that he lied, to sit up properly. She looked into the mirror and was terrified at the sight of her swollen eyes. How lucky she did not break down in front of him. He must feel burdened no matter if he felt for her or not. And he was going to leave the city for good. She paused for another moment to look straight into her reflection in the mirror. Afterall, she was normal. She could have feelings for others just like any other girl. Coming from a dysfunctional family, she had never dared to think she could feel for someone like this. On this thought, she smiled. Whether this feeling was reciprocal was not important anymore. It was this new found freedom to love others fearlessly that relieved her from her slavery of insecurity and wallowing in self pity. Wide awake by now, she turned on the radio and here came the song.

When night comes and snow begins to fall
I feel sadness softly well up inside me
My tears extinguished the fire in my heart
And I watched as the seasons went by

Outside, it’s cold enough to freeze a sigh
Wind howls through the empty winter streets
I’m at that Akarenga station
Waiting for someone who’ll never return, woo…

Tonight I sing a tearful love serenade
It’s a love song I still haven’t forgotten
Snow, let me celebrate my love once more
Grace this night of lonely tears with white love

Once the holy bell starts to ring
The farthest part of the city appears in a dream
An angel descended from the sky
And smiled for me before the coming of spring, woo…

I pray to overcome this loneliness
My white lover’s waiting for me
So I’ll hold onto dreams, hope and foreverness
Soon these painful days will have white love

Tonight I sing a tearful love serenade
It’s a love song I still haven’t forgotten
Let’s celebrate this new journey one last time
Grace this winter of lonely tears with white love
Ah, ah…
Eternal white love
My love

I just miss you
I can’t take it any more
I need you…
Tears

White Lovers by Kuwata Keisuke